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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23154934">I'll Even Turn My Light Off For You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yelposaurus/pseuds/Yelposaurus'>Yelposaurus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Children, Introspection, Peace, Platonic Soulmates, Reincarnation, Soulmates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:27:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23154934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yelposaurus/pseuds/Yelposaurus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <h6>"Where are your parents, kid?"<br/>
The little boy I'm talking to looks up, eyes all huge and watery.<br/>
He says he doesn't remember.<br/>
<br/>
"How old are you?" I ask next.<br/>
He says he's seven.<br/>
That isn't good.</h6>
<p>"Well, I've seen you many times now. Our hearts have been friends a long while, you know?"<br/>The boy looks at me - my old man beard, my slightly pointed hat that matches my long coat - wonder roaring behind his eyes, and asks-</p>
<p>"Are you a wizard?"<br/>The thought is so absurd and takes me by such surprise - I had almost forgotten that it is a child I am talking to, and fantasies never leave a child as young as he.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Even Turn My Light Off For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Where are your parents, kid?"<br/>
The little boy I'm talking to looks up, eyes all huge and watery.<br/>
He says he doesn't remember. </p>
<p>"How old are you?" I ask next.<br/>
He says he's seven.<br/>
I sigh.</p>
<p>Young age is never a good thing with lives like ours. </p>
<p>Right now, he's too young to remember, let alone understand. I wonder if I should really tell him when he's like this, small and naive and someone with a whole life ahead of him. A whole life without me, if I don't say something soon. </p>
<p>But he'll remember who I am with time, right? He'll find me, then, when he's lonely and free and aching for someone who understands, if only a little.<br/>
Oh, there are so many flaws in life. Will there ever come a time when the two of us can be carefree, after living through all the hate and anger and sadness one couldn't ever imagine? </p>
<p>But, I think, I have fallen in love with this person so, so many times, in so many different ways - I'm really not sure I could let him go again.<br/>
Though, that may be me being a little generous.</p>
<p>This little kid, the one who doesn't remember where his parents are, the one who's tearing up because he has no idea where they could be, the one who's been with me through things even his childishly boundless imagination can't even <em>begin</em> to dream of, the one-</p>
<p>The one who doesn't even know who I am right now.</p>
<p>"Hey, kid, who do you think I am?"<br/>
The little boy looks me up and down, lip caught between his teeth like a fish in a net. His brows furrow slightly, nose crinkling in the middle and his mouth going down at the corners as he tries to picture me.<br/>
Then, he perks up, face loosening in recognition. </p>
<p>Grandpa, he says. I remind him of Grandpa. </p>
<p>After all this time apart, he still manages to make me laugh.<br/>
But God, its been so long, <em>too long</em> since I've seen him - I feel happier than I ever have in this life, in this body.<br/>
Now that I've seen him again, <em>finally, </em> the memories are running in like rivers instead of trickles, and they're oh so breathtakingly beautiful. </p>
<p>"No," I say. "I'm not your Grandpa."<br/>
I look down at him then, turning to his huge blue eyes that always seem to be sparkling with the stars: whether he's screaming or crying or smiling or the silly little bit in between it all. "We've met before," I mention next. "Do you not remember?"<br/>
His puzzled look returns. </p>
<p>"No," and his voice is shaky. "No, I don't think I do."</p>
<p>That shouldn't hurt as much as it does. </p>
<p>"Well, I've seen you many times now. Our hearts have been friends a long while, you know?"<br/>
The boy looks at me - my old man beard, my slightly pointed hat that matches my long coat - wonder roaring behind his eyes, and asks-</p>
<p>"Are you a wizard?"<br/>
The thought is so absurd and takes me by such surprise - I had almost forgotten that it is a child I am talking to, and fantasies never leave a child as young as he.</p>
<p>"Certainly not," I laugh, and then sober. "But a stranger of ours just might be."<br/>
He looks like awe just slapped him across the face: mouth open wide, pupil's blown and eyebrows far above his eyelids.<br/>
He looks so familiar, even though he is someone different everytime; maybe in his next life he'll be a prestigious businesswoman or a world-famous actor - or maybe he won't be anyone that's too important to the world at all, but that's all right. He'll be important to me, and we'll never have today again, not ever, so I'll make the most of what I have for now. "Hey, boy, where do you think we go at the end of it all?" I ask. He looks confused again.</p>
<p>"The end of what?" he replies, pretty innocence falling out of his mouth. </p>
<p>"Whatever you want it to be."<br/>
He seems as though he's just met this wizard he so very wants to see, his mind travelling a hundred miles an hour. </p>
<p>"Where will you or I go, do you think?" he asks, voice rising with his eyes. </p>
<p>Ah. He's turned the question around.</p>
<p>"I asked first," I say, my eyes crinkling at the corners as my mouth curves.</p>
<p>"I asked second," he says, a cheeky smile tickling his lips.</p>
<p>"Fine, fine," and it's really not my fault if my smile sours with sadness at the edges. "I think that when you understand everything there ever was," <em>-it was all about you- </em>"when everything you want shrinks into everything you need" <em>-all I need is you- </em>"and when you see every face there ever was and still fall in love with the same person every single time,"<em> -it's always been you- </em>"you'll manage to rest, after all your hardship and struggle, in the dark with someone you think you might just be able to live for."<em>-I'll rest with you. </em></p>
<p>It's silent for a moment, like the world's decided it doesn't really want to do anything anymore.</p>
<p>The little boy's breath puffs out of his mouth, words already climbing up the back of his throat, excitement running rampant over his face. </p>
<p>"How much do you still need to understand, mister? How many faces do you still need to see?" the boy asks, face curious in his wide eyes and flared nose.</p>
<p>"Oh, there's much more yet, kid. More than you or I could imagine." I glance down at him, my eyes squinting as my beard ruffles in the wind. "Look around. You see all these people? How much do you think they still want?"</p>
<p>The kid looks out to all the people bustling about, face crumpled up in thought. He stays like that for a little while, trying to come up with an alright answer. </p>
<p>But then his face suddenly lights up, and I can almost hear the <em>ding</em> of something going off inside his head. "Hey!" he shouts, "Look over there!"<br/>
His arm is waving around wildly, pointing to God knows where, so I follow his eyes to a woman who seems as though she's been searching for something for a while.<br/>
The 'something' being the little boy sitting with me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later, the boy asks, "Mister, are you sure you're not a wizard?" as his mother spills worries and thank you's out onto the pavement.</p>
<p>"I'm sure - I'm no stranger to you," I laugh.</p>
<p>We say our goodbyes, reiterate our <em>thank you</em>'s, and reply with <em>no problem</em>'s. The little boy turns around as he begins to leave. </p>
<p>"Live for me, mister!" he says. "I'll even turn my light off tonight, and see if I can rest in the dark!"<br/>
The corner of his smile and a sparkle of his eye are all I see before he's barely a ripple in the sea of people, gone with the waves. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't move from where I sit as he leaves. I think about him for a little while. </p>
<p>We are not who we were at the beginning. We are not who we will be at the end.<br/>
But that's all right.<br/>
I'll see him soon.<br/>
How many lives will I have to live until that time?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That night, I turn my light off as I get into bed. In the dark, I try to find rest - I try to find <em>peace. </em></p>
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